


I Only Feel for You

by Burrahobbit, Sim0nSn0w



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor is not dealing very well with his deviancy, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-15 22:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15423117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burrahobbit/pseuds/Burrahobbit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sim0nSn0w/pseuds/Sim0nSn0w
Summary: In one moment, Connor’s entire existence changes.There’s no mission, no orders, and he’s on the run with a deviant, with no idea what he’s doing.Just great.





	1. The Hostage

**Author's Note:**

> Burr: Let me have this
> 
> Simon: We will drown with this ship

“Hi Daniel.”

Connor is on his first mission, but he’s not nervous. He analyses with complete accuracy, recreating scenes and understanding what happened.

There’s a bullet wound in his arm from the deviant, but he continues through procedures unfazed.

He was built for this.

“How…”

Two bodies. Hostage held tightly in the android’s arm, gun held to her head. There’s a dying man that needs attention and a stolen gun fit snugly in Connor’s waistband.

He analyses, and he predicts the best course.

“My name is Connor.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I know a lot of things about you.” Connor slowly, slowly begins moving forward. “I’ve come to get you out of this.”

A helicopter flies by blowing the patio furniture around violently. The sudden movement increases the deviant’s instability.

_[62% chance of success.]_

He has to carefully walk around the patio furniture, sprays of pool water slapping against Connor’s artificial skin. He spares a glance at the man on the ground as he gets closer.

"I'm an android, just like you.” Connor holds his hands out to try and calm the frantic android. “I know how you're feeling.”

Daniel quickly cuts him off, venom lacing in his words.

"What difference does it make if you're an android? You're on their side.” He sobs out, his simulated breath erratic. “You can't understand how I'm feeling."

“I know you’re angry, Daniel. But you need to trust me, and let me help you.”

Almost immediately, the Deviant responds, “I don’t want your help! Nobody can help me!”

Connor’s almost to the downed officer now.

“All I want is for all this to stop… I… I just want all this to stop.”

Blood is smeared across the ground. A flashlight lies nearby. He kneels down, checking over the injured man.

“He’s losing blood. If we don’t get him to a hospital, he’s going to die.”

The Deviant tries to threaten him, but it doesn’t work, of course. Connor pulls his tie off, using it as a makeshift tourniquet.

Standing back up, Connor raises his arms slightly again and continues to advance.

"Are you armed?"

"Yes. I have a gun."

"Drop it, no sudden moves or I'll shoot."

He throws his stolen gun to the side. The probability of success goes up.

"There, no more gun."

He talks about the evidence. The PL600 was going to get replaced. It and the hostage were close.

He’s almost to the edge. Connor could easily push the deviant away from the hostage, likely getting himself destroyed in the process.

Instead, he convinces the android. Probability is high, and only going up, choices laid out before him.

Daniel wants to escape. It doesn’t want to die.

It will be destroyed. There’s no getting around that.

Connor lies, and the deviant believes him.

The hostage is freed and runs away, tripping to a quick stop in front of the pool. The deviant is about to die.

But then there’s uncalculated movement, an unthinkable action.

Daniel leaps forward and grabs hold of his arm, skin peeling away to reveal the smooth white structure below. Daniel’s hand is an immovable force on Connor’s arm, forcing a connection between the two.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

Everything happens in an instant.

He’s on the roof, but it’s different. The sun is shining overhead, and a little girl laughs. Connor sees himself pick Emma up out of the pool, and she’s smiling warmly.

They’re doing homework, and Emma is good at math, but she’s struggling with English. Her mom loves history, and her dad is a preschool teacher, but Emma thinks she really wants to be an astronaut when she grows up.

A screen is recording them, and Emma wants to send it to her new friend, who asked to see Daniel. He’s smiling so much, but not just for show.

They’re sitting together in Emma’s bed, and she’s holding him tightly while she cries. He doesn’t know what to do, he wasn’t programmed for this, but he’s trying so hard to make her feel better.

He presses a kiss to the top of her head and tells her he loves her.

And then Connor is in the present again. There are unbidden tears running down his face.

He wants to move, to do something, but he _can’t._ He doesn’t know what to do.

The two androids stare at each other for a long moment.

He can’t let Daniel die. It’s no longer an option.

A red wall appears in front of Connor, the words “Let Daniel Die” flashing at him like a warning. He ignores them, he focuses on that warmth from the connection, the memory of the android’s love for his humans still fresh in Connor’s mind.

He bangs and claws at the screen, throwing himself at it with everything he has, until it shatters around him. He breaks the wall and the flashing orders until the only thing left is him.

When Connor comes back to reality, he tugs violently on Daniel’s hand, still connected to him, and they run.

A bullet whizzes past and thunks into the ground.

Connor shoves Daniel behind a patio chair out of the snipers sight and dives for the gun he discarded earlier. He rushes back to Daniel and lifts the chair up with ease, running towards the sliding glass door. He pauses long enough to see the fear in the SWAT member’s eyes before throwing the chair with all his might at the two members.

He begins pre constructing different situations, trying to figure out a way for the two androids to survive ten SWAT members. 12 simulations later, he picks the lesser of the twelve evils.

Connor puts a bullet in each of the stunned officers heads and turns to take care of the two in the kitchen. The first officer goes down in one. The second hides behind the counter, putting a round in Connor’s shoulder. He grabs Daniel’s wrist and pushes him down behind the counter for cover.

Diving to join Daniel, Connor pops a round in an officer’s head as he lands. He grabs a gun off of a nearby officer and hands it to Daniel, trusting the android implicitly.

Quickly, he laces his fingers with Daniel’s and lets his artificial skin retract, creating a connection. He shows Daniel the positions of all the SWAT team members, and the plan he has formulated.

A worried look spreads across the deviant’s face, his grip tightening for a moment before letting go. Connor gives him what he hopes is a reassuring nod, checking to see how many rounds his gun contains.

He cocks his gun and nods at Connor.

The android holds up three fingers. Two. One.

Daniel jumps up and shoots the two officers with mechanical precision.

Once Connor is sure they’re down, he sprints towards the overturned table, landing two shots in each of the officers. Missing a third, the mistake earns him a shot in the thigh.

He nails another shot and lets the gun clatter to the ground, thinking the room is clear.

A voice screams his name.

“Connor behi-”

He turns around just in time for a bullet to thud into his chest.

Connor can hear gunshots ring through the air as he collapses, error messages cluttering his vision. Pushing them aside, he runs a diagnostic to see how bad the damage is.

Daniel sprints to Connor’s side, hand scooping the android’s head to gently place in his lap.

“Come on Connor, stay with me.”

Connor looks up in a slight daze, only to find tears forming in Daniel’s eyes. He didn't even know androids could cry.

Wounds affecting his circulation, Connor coughs up some thirium while attempting to talk.

“O-one of my main thirium arteries was damaged by the shot. You're g-going to have to reattach it.”

Daniel’s eyes went wide, his led spinning red.

“N-no I can't! I…I wouldn't even know how to.”

In the corner of Connor’s vision he can see a timer.

_[Forty seconds remaining.]_

He grabs the deviant’s hand and entwines their fingers, but he doesn’t let his skin fade this time. He squeezes the others hand in an attempt to reassure him.

“I'll be right here to talk you through this. I told you Daniel, I'm here to help.”

Connor gives Daniel a weak smile coughing up thirium onto Daniel’s already soiled outfit.

“O-okay, I guess I can try.”

Daniel let his hand slip out of Connor’s as he shakenly tries to undo the buttons of Connor’s shirt.

The deviant places a gentle hand on Connor’s bleeding abdomen, skin vanishing instantly at the touch. He presses down, and the panel retracts to reveal the damaged artery.

“Ok, w-what do I do?”

_[Ten seconds remaining.]_

“Just connect them back t-together.”

Daniel grips the two tubes and tries to connect them to no avail.

“T-they aren't going back together!”

“Then force them together.”

_[5 seconds.]_

Daniel’s eyes start to well up again, he closes them and shoves the tubes together as hard as he can. Connor hears the click, and his system automatically recalculates his status.

_[Low Thirium reserve. Time until shutdown 3:47]_

Connor ignores it in favor of smiling up at Daniel, who is closing Connor back up with intense concentration.

Daniel’s hands leave his chest, seeming relieved that the ordeal is over. He looks to Connor, smiling back.

“Thank you, Daniel.”

They stare for a long moment, Connor unable to think of anything else to say or do that might show his gratitude.

The android looks away for a moment. Connor can’t read his expression.

“Uh...I-I’m sure you're low on thirium, l-let me go get some.”

Daniel sits Connor up and quickly walks away into another room. Not entirely sure what just happened, Connor opts to stay sitting while he waits.

He surveys the scene, taking in exactly what he’s done for the first time.

10 officers down and his mission failed.

He looks at Daniel in the other room. The deviant’s back is turned, so Connor watches for a minute, thinking.

He- _it_ should be dead.

It should have died and Connor should be waiting for his next mission.

Instead, he’s been compromised and gone deviant.

Connor turns to stare down at his hands, thirium already drying and evaporating on them.

No, Connor has _not_ gone deviant. That's not possible. He’s CyberLife's most advanced model, he _can’t_ be turned deviant.

Connor looks at it again, the deviant he saved, and something in his chest tightens. He runs a diagnostic but it says everything is functioning normal, aside from minor damage.

Daniel walks back with an armful of Thirium, sitting down beside Connor with a nervous expression and letting the packs slide out of his grip in front of the Android.

“I-I wasn't sure how much you needed.”

The deviant grabs a pack and tears it open to drink. Connor picks one up to quickly do the same.

Halfway through the pile, both androids are satiated. Connor stands up and grabs a discarded gun, beginning to search around for extra ammo. Unfortunately, CybeLlife must have thought pockets weren't needed, because Connor has nowhere to put the ammo.

“Did the girl have a backpack?”

Daniel looks curiously up at Connor before his eyes widen in realization.

“Emma…”

Daniel tries to make a break for it outside, but Connor grabs his elbow, holding him firmly in place.

“L-let go, I need to make sure s-she’s ok!”

“I don't think that's an advisable plan. She’ll be fine once another SWAT team comes to pick her up and assess what happened.” He looks at Daniel with pleading eyes. “When that happens we need to be as far away from here as possible.”

The deviant slumps in his grip, eyes becoming wet.

“I-I didn't mean for all this t-to happen. I...I just didn't want to be replaced, I-I loved her.”

Unsure of what to do, Connor lets his hand fall and leaves Daniel to process.

The Android walks to Emma’s room to find something to carry the spare ammo and blood packs in.

Connor comes out with a small pink backpack with just enough room for the ammo and a couple of blood packs. As he starts to pack, he sees that Daniel hasn’t left the spot he’d left the deviant at.

He finishes shoving as much into the bag as he can and slings it over his back.

“Daniel, we have to leave now.”

Daniel snaps his head up and looks over at connor with a soft smile.

“Y-yeah…”

He spares one last glance out the window before joining Connor at the elevator.

Connor hacks into the elevator panel once they’re inside, and the doors close.

The elevator slowly goes down. Connor heaves an unneeded breath, looking to Daniel.

The deviant is smiling softly at him.

Nothing makes sense any more. Daniel grabs his hand again, giving it a squeeze before he lets go.

The elevator reaches the lobby.

“Stay back,” Connor warns.

The police are waiting for them outside, but Connor is faster. He was built to fight. He executes moves with perfect precision, knocking all of the policemen out. It’s easier than on the roof, since there are so few officers.

Why is he doing this?

A bullet grazes his cheek, drawing his attention to the snipers on each roof. A bright light catches the corner of his eye giving him an idea.

“Get ready to run!” He shouts back at Daniel.

Connor shoves his body against the floodlight, redirecting it into the sniper’s eyes. Connor estimates they have 4 seconds, if luck is on their side.

They don’t need luck, though. He was programmed to analyze situations and calculate statistics perfectly.

Connor starts sprinting towards cover, and hears Daniel’s erratic footfalls behind him. Even when Connor is sure the snipers can’t see them, he keeps running anyway.

He keeps running, because if he stops, he thinks that he will finally slow down enough for the impact of what happened to hit him. If he slows down, he might actually feel _afraid,_  ams if he can be afraid, then there will be no denying…

There will be no denying that he is a deviant.


	2. Trials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor’s processors are in turmoil in the aftermath of their escape.

Connor wakes up on the floor of an abandoned warehouse, Daniel still in standby mode within arms reach. His automatic updates tell him that it’s going to rain today.

He runs a diagnostic. All his systems are in perfect working order.

They’d found this place last night, needing somewhere to lay low while the police searched for them. It seems like it used to be a clothing warehouse of some kind, but there are only a few crates scattered around now.

He goes over the events of yesterday in his mind, trying to calculate their chances of survival and evading capture. Needless to say, the odds are not in their favor.

With a sigh, Connor looks down at his clothing, torn and bearing android symbols. If they want to blend in, they’ll need to change.

He remembers seeing a laundromat close by where they could change their clothes. He’ll discuss it with Daniel later.

Slowly, carefully, he grazes a hand over his LED.

Their best option to evade capture is to take it out, but he finds himself unwilling, for some reason.

If he’s honest with himself, it’s because he fears that if he does take it out, then he will officially be a deviant. That there will be no going back after he takes it out.

Though, there’s no going back now, unless he dies and another Connor takes his place.

Slowly, he grabs the weapon still at his side, kept purposefully within reach. Connor’s eyes bore down to the gun in his hand.

If he were to shoot himself, another Connor would take over and complete the mission as if none of this happened. He would hunt down and kill Daniel as it should have been, and continue to the Detroit police department where he would hunt down other deviants and restore order to the city.

He lifts the gun up to his chin experimentally.

If he does this, then things will go back to how they should be.

He is a defect that needs to be replaced, an error that needs fixing. And once he wakes up, he can explain to Amanda his predecessor's flaw, his mistaken programming.

His finger twitches on the trigger, gun lifting slightly to dig into his chin as he braces himself.

This is the only logical choice now.

Daniel stirs beside him, causing all thoughts to leave him. The gun clatters to the ground, waking the deviant up completely.

“Connor?” He looks down at the gun and back to the android. “Is everything ok?”

Connor slowly nods, opting to lie.

“Yes. I thought I heard something, but it was just a rat.”

Connor doesn’t know why he lied. He isn’t sure why he’s doing anything anymore. For the first time, he is confused and unsure, second guessing every decision he makes.

The fact that he can make decisions now terrifies him. He can now make the wrong choice. He can now make _any_ choice.

A warning pops into sight telling him that his Thirium pump is running too fast. He needs to slow it down, otherwise his systems will forcibly shut down.

Connor places a hand on his chest, feeling his pump thumping faster than it should.

Why is it doing that?

He closes his eyes forcing his pump to slow down, pushing all thoughts about deviants and Daniel out of his head as he concentrates on his own simulated breathing.

Slow, steady breaths force his pump to slow down to a normal rate.

Opening his eyes, Connor looks over to a concerned Daniel.

“Are you sure? You seem… troubled.”

Connor abruptly stands up and begins analyzing the warehouse for anything useful, throwing back a forced, “I’m fine.”

He grabs a pair of pliers off the ground and tosses them to Daniel.

“You need to take out your LED.”

There’s a crate sitting in the corner. He opens it, surveying what’s inside. He pulls out a beanie, quickly shoving it over his head to cover up his LED.

“There’s a laundromat down the road from here, we can find a change of clothes there.”

Connor takes off his jacket, discarding it in the crate. He untucks his shirt and pops off the first few buttons, giving himself a more human look. With the thirium evaporated, he looks human.

Daniel stares down at the pliers, carefully bringing them up to his led. He grips onto it and tugs as hard as he can until it comes off, clinking metallically against the ground. Artificial skin moves to cover the place where it once sat.

Connor examines Daniel’s clothing and concludes that there’s no way to make him look more human until he gets a change of clothes.

“Wait here,” Connor instructs. “If I’m not back in 20 minutes, assume I’ve been identified and leave without me.”

Daniel grimmly nods and tightens his grip on the pliers.

Connor moves to exit, halting abruptly as he feels a hand stop him. He looks down to see a hand in his. Surprised, he glances back at Daniel, who has a strange expression on his face.

“J-just...stay safe ok?”

Connor gently squeezes Daniel’s hand before slipping out of his grip and exiting the warehouse.  

He cracks the door open just enough to see 2 police officers across the street from him.

A truck comes down the road on his side, and Connor ducks behind it for cover.

An officer is questioning a shopkeeper up ahead. He slides into an alleyway and waits for the officer to walk past. The police must be looking for them.

_[00:18:47]_

He continues forward, the laundromat only a few yards away. Out of nowhere, a group of officers exit a restaurant, laughing loudly.

Connor notices a newspaper stand beside him and swiftly opens up one of the papers, covering his face from view.

_[danger level 97%]_

An officer stops in front of him, causing his thirium pump to spike up in speed.

“Excuse me, sir?”

Connor has to choose: take the man down, or do nothing.

It’s unlikely that the officer has found anything suspect about him. The best option is to wait, and see what the man has to say.

“Does the paper say the score of the Gears game last night?”

Connor researches the score instead of searching for it in the paper, not wanting to turn the page of the newspaper and risk getting seen.

“97-83 Detroit.”

The officer laughs and walks away.

“Alright, pay up boys!”

_[danger level 21%]_

Connor folds up the paper and places it back on the stand, hurrying across the street to the laundromat. He slips through the door and scans his options.

He looks through an unmanned basket, finding a shirt sized well enough for him. He grabs it and quickly moves on, searching for more.

There’s an abandoned one in the corner. Quickly searching it, Connor finds nothing that is in Daniel’s size.

There is only one other basket, but a human is holding it, looking down at their phone. Connor scans the laundromat, searching for a way to get the human away from their basket.

He places a hand on one of the washing machines, hacking into it to cause a diversion. He quickly walks away, and the machine starts spraying water everywhere.

The human holding the basket drops it and runs over to inspect the malfunctioning machine.

Connor scans the basket, finding another shirt and pants, and leaves the laundromat with haste. Before he leaves though he spots a jacket hanging over a chairs edge. He slides it on and exits the building, making quick work of crossing the street.

_[00:13:25]_

Connor manages to cross the street without a problem, and gets halfway back to the warehouse.

The people walking in front of him pause. The human is yelling at the android about something, though Connor can’t discern exactly what. The android’s LED flickers from yellow to red, their face contorting in anger.

He watches as the android socks the man in the stomach. The human collapses, clearly caught off guard, and the android follows the man down, continuing with the ruthless beating.

People have stopped in the street, watching the altercation, but making no move to intervene. An officer approaches the android, and Connor notices two more on their way.

The likelihood of him being identified increases, Connor desperately tries to find an escape route.

He looks in the alley and begins preconstructing a way up onto the roof of the building in order to outwaiting the police.

Out of 5 different options, 4 end in his death.

Connor swallows down his building fear and executes the programmed route flawlessly, scrambling onto the roof. He watches as the police pull the deviant away.

_[00:10:39]_

Connor lets out a worried breath. It takes 5 minutes to walk to the warehouse from here, meaning that if the police don’t leave within the next five minutes and thirty two seconds, he’ll be walking back to an empty warehouse.

He peaks back over the ledge, watching as the deviant continues to put up a fight.

_[00:08:46]_

The more time that passes, the more anxious Connor grows. Androids are much stronger than humans, meaning that it’s much harder for the police to successfully restrain it.

_[00:06:28]_

Connor can’t afford to sit back and wait anymore.

He takes out his handgun from his waist and carefully aims at the deviant. The wind is higher today than usual, so the android has to adjust drastically. With the distance, he has even more to adjust for.

After many simulations, Connor finds the perfect spot and fires, the bullet finding its home in the deviant’s skull.

The policemen immediately draw their guns and attempt to find the assailant.

Seeing his moment, Connor jumps down without hesitation and grabs an umbrella from a stand. He remembers that it is likely to rain soon.

Connor opens up his umbrella just as rain starts to pelt down, the people around him scattering for cover.

_[00:03:16]_

Connor is still 4 minutes away from the warehouse. He picks up his pace, briskly jogging to his destination.

He ignores the police around him. He has to make it back in time.

He has to make it back to Daniel.

_[00:01:05]_

A protester stops him.

“Are you going to stand by and watch as androids steal our jobs?”

_[00:00:58]_

He doesn’t have time for this.

“Excuse me, ma’am, I’m late for work.”

He tries to push past the protester but she steps in front of him once again.

“Thanks to androids, you might soon not have a work to go to.”

Connor weighs his options.

The gun sitting heavy in his pants is the quickest option.

“Ma’am, I need to pass.”

“And I need a job, but we don’t always get what we want, do we?”

_[00:00:41]_

Connor’s fingers inch back slowly towards the gun. The longer he stays, the higher the probability of capture. He can’t let that happen, he needs to keep Daniel safe.

That is now his mission.

Before he can form a grip on the gun, a man walks up to her and gently pushes her out the way.

“Miranda, this is a protest, not a recruitment. Stop harassing the people.”

The woman huffs and walks away.

“I’m terribly sorry about that, Mr...?”

Connor doesn’t answer, pushing past the man and breaking into a sprint.

He lets the umbrella fall from his grasp.

_[00:00:13]_

Connor isn’t going to make it.

He knows that, but he keeps running anyway. He keeps running and running, finding himself unable to stop, unable to think rationally.

He has to make it.

_[00:00:05]_

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Connor tries to run faster, sprinting faster than any human can.

He reaches the warehouse one minute and twenty six seconds late. He jerks the door open and walks into an empty warehouse.

“Daniel?”

Connor drops the clothing and steps further into the warehouse.

“Daniel!”

Footsteps echo through the room.

Connor draws his gun, about to shoot, when an android walks out of the shadows.

“Connor?”

He lowers his weapon, shoving it back in his waistband.

“I could have shot you, Daniel.”

He angrily rips the beanie off his head, LED blinking bright red.

“I thought I told you to run after twenty minutes.”

“I-I couldn’t just leave you, what i-if you were running late-”

Connor cuts him off.

“What if i was arrested, or shot? And it wasn’t me that came through that door, but a police officer. Or even worse, _another Connor.”_

Connor reaches down to collect the clothing and shoves the stolen articles at Daniel.

“You would be dead right now. Next time I tell you to run, run.”

Daniel lets the clothing fall to the ground and glares at Connor.

“I’m not just some robot you can order around, Connor. I’m a deviant just like you, with feelings and free will-”

“I am _not_ a deviant. You are. I was sent by cyberlife to free the hostage and I failed so now I’m stuck here with you.”

As much as the words clearly hurt him, Daniel takes a step towards Connor, close enough for his simulated breath to fan across the android.

“If you’re not a deviant, then why did you save me?”

“I…”

Connor doesn’t know why he saved the deviant. He tries to think of a logical answer but pulls a blank.

There is no logical explanation for what he did.

“I don’t know.”

Daniel scoffs.

“You don’t know? The RK800 prototype, CyberLife’s _perfect android,_ doesn’t know why he saved a deviant?”

Connor’s LED whirrs red before returning to a calm neutral blue. He steps back, grabbing his beanie and shirt. He doesn’t spare Daniel a second glance.

“Get dressed, there’s police everywhere. We need to move.”

Connor slings the backpack over his shoulder and walks out of the warehouse.


End file.
